I’m a 72-year-old widow, and a debt collector is harassing me for $42K in unpaid medical bills my husband racked up before he died. I live alone on a fixed income. What can I do?

Are you responsible for a deceased loved one's medical bills?

If a family member dies with medical debt, you are typically not responsible for paying it with your own money. The debt will be paid out of the deceased person’s estate. Surviving loved ones will inherit less than they would have, or nothing at all, as creditors get to take estate property before heirs or beneficiaries receive what's left over. If there isn’t enough in the estate to cover the debt, it’s usually written off, with limited exceptions, which according to the Federal Trade Commission are:

• If you live in one of the nine community property states and are the deceased person’s spouse
• If your state requires spouses to share responsibility for medical debt
• If you co-signed for the debt
• If you were legally responsible for resolving the estate and didn’t follow certain state probate laws

Some assets, however, may not be part of the estate creditors can make a claim against. This could happen, for example, if you and your spouse had a joint bank account with survivorship rights or owned a home as joint tenants with rights of survivorship. In these situations, the money and home pass directly to you outside of probate and can't typically be taken by creditors.

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What can you do if your spouse dies with medical debt?

The executor of the estate is responsible for notifying creditors about the death and probate proceedings so that they can make their claims.

If there is not enough money in the estate and they try to collect from you after your spouse passes away, you do not have to pay for the debt from your own funds unless one of the exceptions mentioned above applies to you. You should take the following steps to protect your rights:

• Request details in writing. In most situations, the collector must provide this information within five days of first contacting you. This can help you determine if the debt is legitimate and if you have a legal obligation to pay it.
• Contact an attorney. An attorney can carefully review the situation to ensure you don't owe the debt.
• Dispute that you owe the debt. You can forward proof of death, such as the death certificate, to confirm the person is deceased and you do not owe it.
• Request collections activities stop. If you send a written letter to collectors requesting that they stop contacting you, they must abide by this, or they are breaking the law.

Remember, while you can choose to voluntarily pay your spouse's bills, you are typically under no legal obligation to do so and should not feel obligated to talk with or cooperate with debt collectors who are trying to pursue money during your time of grief. If collectors try to convince you otherwise, they may be breaking the law and can be held accountable for their actions.