Rich Americans keep falling for this 1 big money misconception — and it’s costing them dearly. Here’s what it is and how to fix it

Is it all in your head?

No matter how much money we have, some of us may never feel wealthy. For instance, only a third of millionaires (32%) consider themselves wealthy, according to a survey by Northwestern Mutual.

One reason is that people who become millionaires are often “money vigilant,” according to Chaffin. This means they’re constantly keeping track of how much money is moving in and out of their accounts — and they never feel truly secure with the amount they have.

Money vigilance is one of four money scripts people fall into, according to a framework created by psychologist Brad Klontz. Klontz writes these scripts describe often unconscious sets of beliefs about money that shape our financial behavior. They’re typically formed in childhood and can be passed down from generation to generation. While the outcomes from adopting the script of money vigilance can be good — like being a disciplined saver — they can also prevent you from enjoying your wealth.

If you feel money vigilance is keeping you from enjoying life, you may be able to alter your behavior with some help from a qualified counselor or coach specializing in financial behavior.

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The curse of comparison

Comparing ourselves to others, though it’s human nature, can also make us feel less wealthy. Social media inundates us with curated images of friends, family, influencers and the rich and famous — all of whom seem to be doing better than we are.

But there are ways to stop constantly comparing yourself with others, according to physician and wellness expert Dr. Susan Biali Haas. She recommends reducing your triggers. So if you tend to get feelings of inferiority from scrolling social media, going to places like high-end shopping malls, or hanging out with people who make you feel inferior, for instance, Biali suggests making a point to avoid those things.

Remind yourself that you don’t actually know what’s going on in other people’s lives and that someone who appears rich may actually be struggling — financially or otherwise. Some studies suggest that having money beyond what you need to secure your necessities does not necessarily bring increased happiness.

Know where you stand

It may help to have a clear picture of where you stand. First, what does it mean to be wealthy? To answer that question, you’ll need to look at your net worth: the average value of all your household’s assets — everything from checking accounts to retirement savings to cars — less all of the debts you owe. Then, you can see how you’re doing relative to others.

According to the most recent data from the Federal Reserve, the average family net worth in the U.S. was $1,063,700 in 2022, while the median (the point where half are above and half are below) was $192,900. The vast gulf between average and median net worth demonstrates that a relatively small number of ultra-wealthy people are skewing the numbers — which means that many of the people around you probably aren’t millionaires. In fact, among the bottom one-quarter of households, average family net worth is actually negative: debts exceed assets by an average of $5,300.

Net worth also changes with age. Many people reach their highest net worth in early retirement, peaking in the 65-74 age range at a median of $409,900 and average of $1,794,600.

If you’ve achieved a money milestone at which you’d objectively be considered wealthy, but you’re worried you still don’t have enough, it might be time to visit a financial professional). They may be able to help you work out a plan that will allow you to make your money last and enjoy it at the same time.